The sentiment these days seems to be we can’t wait until life gets back to normal. We’re missing our lives as they once were. We find ourselves longing for the school routine, the spontaneous outings, the social gatherings and even just a quick maskless trip to the grocery store. It’s safe to say that we are all in a state of shock, uncertainty and confusion on a daily basis.
In the midst of all the chaos that comes with having the kids home 24/7, I find myself thinking about the loss I’ll feel when life does get “back to normal.” While it’s hard to believe that I’ll ever want to return to this place, I know that someday I will miss this time.
With the whole family at home these days, we’re spending much more time together than we typically do. The adjustment to the constant “family togetherness” was challenging, but the increase in quantity of time together has also led to more quality moments.
Every morning, we all have breakfast together. We’re not rushing around the kitchen telling the boys to hurry up and eat so they’re not late for school, then quickly ushering them upstairs to get dressed. Instead, we talk. We talk about what we’re going to do that day. We wonder why the moon is still visible in the morning. We look through the window and watch the family of squirrels living in our backyard, who have been assigned names by our sons (Chipsy, Acorn and Nut).
On a typical pre-Covid-19 day, I would spend my time going from one school pick-up to the next followed by our slew of afterschool activities. Now, I find myself getting dragged into a game of shark monster, robot building or doctor’s office at any given moment. When we’re not rushing to the next place, we find time to play together. Play offers such rich insight into my sons’ imaginative minds. I’m getting to know my kids better than I ever have before.
School at home has become part of the routine. I admittedly look forward to helping my older son write his journal entry every day. I’ve gotten to see the look of pride on his face when he writes a letter perfectly and spells a challenging word correctly. Then I watch how hard he concentrates as he reads it to his class on his Zoom calls. We give each other the thumbs up sign from across the room and he flashes me a discrete smile.
The sibling bonding has perhaps been one of my favorite silver linings of this situation. My sons, 6 and 3 years old, have become best friends over these past few months. I realize that part of this is out of necessity and lack of other more attractive alternatives, but when I see them running around together deeply involved in their dress-up scene of the hour, I see a deep bond taking hold. Although their loving moments come with equally as many squabbles, I know that they are grateful beyond words for each other. I realize that this will end someday and they will go back to living more independent lives, but right now it brings me so much joy to watch them erupt in laughter as they play, pretend and scheme.
At the end of the day, we all have dinner together. We’ll sit down at the same time for a family meal and rehash our day. We don’t have to eat without dad because he’s stuck at the office or sitting in traffic – he’s already home. When dinner is over, my husband and I divide and conquer the clean-up and bedtime routine. Then we all squeeze into the same bed for story time and goodnight snuggles.
This time will pass, but it will leave a lasting impression. I will always remember how we cuddled up on the couch together reading stories for who knows how long. I will replay the scenes in my mind of the boys building a city out of magna tiles and complimenting each other on their use of various shapes. I will hear the echo of their laughter when I find them playing in their room pretending to be superheroes.
What I’ll remember most, however, is how this time felt when we didn’t have to be anywhere but here. When we had nowhere to go and no one to see. It took a forced lockdown for us to realize that just being with each other is enough.
This situation has been extremely difficult and challenging in so many ways, but when I look back and reflect on this time, I just might miss it.
Neurotically Green Mom 